WHO MADE IT? | Director: Adam Shankman Cast: Vin Diesel, Lauren Graham, Faith Ford, Brittany Snow, Max Theriot, Morgan York and Brad Garrett | WHAT'S IT ABOUT? | Navy S.E.A.L Shane Wolfe (Diesel) is assigned to protect the five endangered children of an assassinated scientist working on a secret invention. He soon finds he is juggling the two impossible jobs of fighting the bad guys while keeping house. | WHAT'S IT LIKE? | This is a cross between Kindergarten Cop and Mary Poppins but it lacks the humour of the former and the magic of the latter. Vin Diesel looks like a seal out of water as he tackles toxic diapers, a surprise teenage party (to him anyway), a romance with the kids' head teacher and frankly a lacklustre script that beggars belief. Diesel re-enacting the Peter Panda dance will have you cringing in the aisles. His attempt to direct the local community's rendition of The Sound of Music had interesting possibilities which were just thrown away. Diesel's on-screen charm isn't enough to save this howler of a film which also borders on the xenophobic, with North Koreans as the bad guys. It has enough pooh jokes to pacify a very young audience but frankly little else for the rest of the cinema-going public. | THE PACIFIER opens on 27 May 2005
