WHO MADE IT? | Director: David Smith Cast: Billie Piper, Luke Mably, Emma Catherwood, Sam Troughton, Robert Goodman | WHAT’S IT ABOUT? | Five university undergraduates move into an eerie mansion in a leafy north London suburb. There’s the druggie, the nerd, the goody-too-shoes (Piper) and the creepy goth who never says anything. When spooky things start happening – apparently recalling horrific events in the house a hundred years earlier – some of them try to leave, but every time they cross the threshold, they find themselves back in the hallway – trapped inside with restless spirits. Just pray that if you’re hit by the explicable urge to leave the cinema, walking out the door doesn’t lead you straight back into this cinematic hell. | WHAT'S IT LIKE? | Who on earth ever thought this was worth spending money on – it’s not even worth the price of a ticket, let alone what it must have cost to shoot it. The most frightening thing about the plot is how clichéd, messy and illogical it all is. Who on earth is it aimed at? The acting, writing and directing would actually be just perfect for a pre-Neighbours CBBC TV drama, but the grizzly nature of the story and the disturbing violence unquestionably belong post-watershed. So if it would be too scary for children and too amateurishly infantile for adults, it can’t possibly be suitable for anyone. | Opens nationwide on 12 August 2005
